Past is relevant!

 Past Defines...


I have heard so many of life coaches, mystic gurus and friends and loved ones say let go past, move on and ahead but its there and it defines what you are , you cant let go but you take a deep breath and move ahead.

When you were judged to grow up fast or have an early puberty... the stares and remarks still linger on and encourage you to stay solitary in the comfort of a book or coffee...

When you were mocked for not fitting into the parameters of what society considers physically appealing, it stays with your personality as you still prefer silence, yourself and a movie because the pinching feeling in the middle of your chest still comes back , even today when you dress up and go out your mind clouds with how will the stares judge you, how will the facial expression give away the mean comments and how that eye contact and those whispers will judge you again...we get up, hold a steady smile and move on but there is a crunch between the lungs...

When at your workplace people will talk incessantly about their life experiences and awakenings and subtly brag about the victories that satisfy them or create a virtual achievement board to self aggrandize themselves (no harm if it boosts their self growth),  but when they will look at you and find you different because you are not in their image or don't share same goals and are what you are...the sly remarks, the back comments , the cold shoulder and the mocking eyes its exasperating and suffocating...when you will hold your own and not try to fit in, you may be average and aspire to be better, you struggle with the linguistics and concentration but still crawl to get a hang of the esoteric...your heart skips a beat, you bow your head low , there's a back hunch but mind aspires and believes , it keeps you strong but the scars of any kind of shaming stays

When you have a new life experience , a new environment or  a new place or a new family or a new lifecycle stage there will be all kinds of shaming and judgements shoved at you...a selfish irresponsible mother, a careless wife , you will grow at your pace, hold and enjoy each moment, yes behold the mysticism of being but the well of past and its experiential depths will always be there … make you more profound, more humble, less likely to be responsive, make you outgrow the glitz and glamour of outside and make you look within and enjoy the quietness of the moment

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